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itsjustbecca

Still Breathing.

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self-esteem

The Dove That Soars

I know it’s hard to say

That it will ever be okay.

But, sweetie, you have to know;

This is just one step on the road.

This tragedy doesn’t define you.

This is something you’ll get through.

Please,

Hold on for me.

 

You’re greater than the mistakes you’ve made.

You’re bigger than the hell they create.

You’re stronger than you can see.

Please, don’t let go of me.

 

Take a breath.

 

I know you’re suffocating,

But don’t let this be your ending.

You’re not worthless.

You’re beautiful; don’t deny it.

It’s hard to hear past the thunder.

Don’t let yourself be dragged under.

Please,

Stay strong for me.

 

You’re greater than the mistakes you’ve made.

You’re bigger than the hell they create.

You’re stronger than you can see.

Please, don’t let go of me.

 

Copyright © 2016 itsjustbecca All Rights Reserved

Fading Colors

This isn’t going to last.

Please, don’t drown yourself in the past.

Know that you’re strong.

You have to carry on.

Create yourself into something new.

This life is yours to choose.

Today is just a step.

You’re not quite there yet.

 

I’ll help pick up the pieces,

If you promise to fight through this.

Don’t give in tonight.

Get up and make it right.

You’re worth it.

 

You’re beautiful in every single way.

It will never matter what they say.

There won’t be a need to scream and shout,

Because inside and out,

You’re better than they could ever be.

And I hope one day you’ll see,

The amazing person you’ve become.

You’ll find the war’s already been won.

When you feel like you’re about to cave,

Just keep in mind that you are brave.

 

You’re beautiful in every way,

And beautiful is just how you’ll stay.

 

Copyright © 2016 itsjustbecca All Rights Reserved

Sitting at Hell’s Gate

A little flame that licked her wrist

Set ablaze the pain from within.

She’s beautiful, and she doesn’t even know it.

There’s an angel sitting inside, and she can’t even see it.

Clouded by the past,

She just wants something that’ll last.

She shouldn’t be alone tonight.

 

I sing the song of the broken,

Screaming from the soul of the damned.

I sing for the boy with a smile,

For the girl with a beautiful laugh.

I sing because they hurt,

And you don’t even know until the aftermath.

Crying out to Heaven,

With only a response from Hell.

You never noticed until the day they fell.

 

The dark night clouds clutter the depths

Of his weakening mind.

There was always one more step to climb

Before he could say he was okay.

He didn’t want to get close;

He didn’t want to take the chance.

It shouldn’t have been him to take the fall.

 

I wish you had stayed for the sunrise.

You could’ve seen that the night passed,

And the morning rains washed away

The sorrows and fears.

I wish you had stayed.

 

I sing the song of the broken,

Screaming from the soul of the damned.

I sing for the boy with a smile,

For the girl with a beautiful laugh.

I sing because they hurt,

And you don’t even know until the aftermath.

Crying out to Heaven,

With only a response from Hell.

You never noticed until the day they fell.

 

I wish you had stayed for the sunrise.

I wish you could’ve seen you through my eyes.

God, I wish you had stayed.

 

Copyright © 2016 itsjustbecca All Rights Reserved

Change It.

All the time, I hear, “Well, if you’re unhappy about something, change it.” It’s not that simple though, is it?

I hate my job. And I mean, I legitimately hate it. Honestly, I can’t even tell you why because I can’t pinpoint the real issue behind the way I feel towards it. Perhaps it’s the management. Maybe it’s that I don’t feel like I’m living up to my potential, as arrogant as it may sound. Hell, it might just be because I work for a large corporate franchise retailer that almost literally sucks the life out of me every second that I’m there. I’m not really sure.

It makes no difference how much I despise my job, though. It doesn’t matter how unhappy it makes me. Picking up and leaving my job because I detest it isn’t even remotely realistic. In a small rural town with hardly any job market, I was lucky to snag the terrible job that I did, never mind trying to have a “backup” job. I have a family to feed and a roof to keep over our heads. It’s becoming more difficult with each passing day. I can’t leave, but it’s breaking me.

I feel like I’m losing myself in the mess. I’m losing faith in my ability to keep going. I shouldn’t feel nauseated at the idea of having to get up and do things during the day. Even on my days off, I’m too exhausted to feel like I’m actually getting any rest. I’m tired. I try so hard to be a solid foundation, but I’m cracking.

I’ve sunk into this pit of self-loathing and feeling of worthlessness. Like nothing I do will be good enough because I’ve lost the will to try. Honestly, my job may not even be the problem. Maybe it’s me that’s the problem.

 

Copyright © 2016 itsjustbecca All Rights Reserved

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